When it comes to opportunities to sound off against yankee depravity, there’s a shower every hour!
Yankee liberalism and banality are everywhere. As I was idly reading a castoff copy of (UGH!) USA Today over lunch the other day, a (UGGGHHH!) GEICO flier fell out and inspired me to send the following email just for the heck of it:
<<<Got your flier in a newspaper. Warren Buffett??? GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES Insurance Company? Wow, gives me the shivers! I knew I didn’t like your company when the present onslaught of smug, banal, yankeefied radio ads began a few years ago. Feel free to take me off your lists for snail mail promotions — I’m at ZIP 29622-2368.>>>
Warren Buffet is one of the most troublemaking, total yankees IN THE WORLD. The promotion brags that his Berkshire Hathaway co. "acquired GEICO in 1996", tripling our chances for getting rage off our chests at the most deserving parties.
I’m serious about GEICO ads. Their mere style and tone deeply offends me, even though they’re topically neutral. They purposely don’t tell a thing about the product or company, but just try to win you with concentrated HYPE — the yankee mentality in a nutshell. All sizzle, no steak. At least they didn’t do so before I managed to tune them out of my consciousness awhile back. But of course they still arrive by junk mail.
Yes — in my studied opinion the sheer, slick, soulless, pleased-as-punch arrogance that drove the Yankee genocide of the 1960s still drives purely commercial advertising today, among millions of other things. This is obviousuly only one extremely small part of the total yankee scourge, but something in me itches to scream with rage at the yankee colossus at the drop of a hat. And I highly recommend doing so frequently. The sheer rush of FREEDOM that floods your soul when telling off the yankee establishment is intoxicating, even when contacting faceless bureaucrats who will likely just trash it.
You think that’s the end of it — hit "send", case closed?
Whoever handles that message at the other end is CHANGED forever by it EVEN IF THEY ONLY DIMLY UNDERSTAND IT.
Yankeeism is the scourge of the universe. Hey, they’re even junking up space to the extent that when they have to fix the Hubble telescope, it’s a grave danger to the workers’ life and limb!
Punch a yankee nose today — safely and legally, through your keyboard! Laugh at how I spend my time if you wish, but please don’t underestimate the scope of the problem. For a quick refresher any old time, revisit this towering column by Alan Stang which was linked in SHNV the other day.